California: the legislatively protected rat; spreading the plague to the rest of the Union
16JUN 09- Yes, shockingly enough our genius state that brought us the un-removable tags for our mattresses (praise jeeezus), passed a law that no vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour(1), taxed and regulated every business out of its state, pays for the day care of and allows in state tuition for illegal aliens, and induced the loss of human life and millions in property damage in the wildfires so they could save the Pacific Pocket Mouse; is going bankrupt. These guys spend money like Richard Pryor in Brewster’s Millions…as if they will ultimately be rewarded with more money by spending it. “The Legislative Analyst’s Office now projects a deficit of about $10 billion over the next 18 months, and Gov. Schwarzenegger says the shortfall may be as high as $14 billion(2)”
So how do we fix this problem? I’m not an economist, politician or a proven genius but according to a couple of online IQ tests I am a borderline to actual Genius. That allows me to purchase products that say so! Wait!? Maybe they’re just saying I’m a genius so I’ll buy stuff!? Hmmm…Well anyway I have formulated some blatant ideas on how to help Arnold and the rest of our brothers and sisters in CA.
1) Stop paying for illegal aliens!
No, this is not a racist statement. In fact I am absolutely in favor of illegal aliens. People usually draw a hard line on this one way or the other. Either never let them come in…EVER or let them come in and we’ll pay for everything. If we enforced our immigration laws it would have hugely detrimental effects on our cost of goods and also put millions of farmers out of business…which pretty much leaves right where we are now. So I am in favor of letting migrant workers work in the country but isn’t that enough? Don’t pay for the costs of these workers out of your own pocket and offer coverage that many US citizens don’t qualify for. If you come here to work illegally that’s at your own risk. Californians stop footing that bill! It’s not your responsibility to pay for someone who’s taking a risk by their own choice. In fact a new study from the Federation for American Immigration Reform (FAIR) examines the costs of education, health care and incarceration of illegal aliens, and concludes that the costs to Californians is $10.5 billion per year. If you compare that to the deficit projection by The Legislative Analyst’s Office listed above, you’re already half a billion in the black! Let’s not stop there.
2) Limit spending
You had the chance to limit state spending with prop. 1a but you voted ‘NO’? Yes, CA already has a gov’t spending limit in place. However, it is based solely on persons per capita but has no relevance to revenue generated each year. The budget would be determined by projections based on revenue over the past 5 years. Setting the budget based on facts and statistics instead of political fancies is how a state gov’t budget should be set. This should save California from about 10 billion in overspending.
3) Cut out the bleeding heart activism ploys
You don’t have to try and save everything. I mean you can but shouldn’t you start with yourselves first? CA, you like to think you’re the worlds PETA and ACLU but you’re not! Over regulation and over taxation leads to the failure of industry and an exodus to other states and then eventually China. Your over concern for Pacific Pocket mice, sea otters, global warming has led the rest of the country into economical depression.
4) Fire Schwarzenegger!
OK it was cute at first but wow! How long are you going to let this go on? I’ve known a lot of weight lifters in my day and none of them were MENSA candidates. Running a state is for qualified, educated and mentally strong leaders, not for dudes that can bench 540 lbs. I know you love to have a nice suppository of Hollywood politics prescribed but this is killing your state. Really CA!? You’re letting a guy who took 15 years to develop the skill to say, “I’ll be back” in English plan your budget? And he still can’t even say California right. One of his solutions to correct the budget is to release criminals from prison to lower the annual expense they incur and in parallel to reduce the Police and Fire forces. Do the math on that! That’s like trying to reduce the budget by not treating STD’s in state funded clinics and then legalizing prostitution. Sure you’ll save money but at what price? Here’s another idea: Borrow 7.5 Billion from local state governments. He plans to fix a portion of the deficit by borrowing money from tribal gambling revenues and selling “stock” in the CA lottery. C’mon guys these aren’t real solutions.
I saw a list of Schwarzenegger’s six tips for success.
1) Trust yourself (Yikes!)
2) Break some rules (but not laws)… (Right…the USSR had fewer rules than CA and he doesn’t have the courage to break any of them. Not to mention CA has the most ridiculous and elitist laws in the Union…Please! Break them!)
3) Don’t be afraid to fail (He’s not! Take Winston Churchill’s advice, “It is no use saying, ’We are doing our best.’ You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.”
4) Ignore the naysayers (Nothings better than a guy who’s running a State into the ground that won’t take advice.)
5) Work like hell (yup, CA is the closest thing that I’ve seen work like hell. Earthquakes, heat waves and droughts followed by extreme rains that cause mud slides, wildfires, LA and Watts riots and…oh yeah that whole falling into the ocean thing.)
6) Give something back (Though bankruptcy is technically something, I don’t think that should count. Perhaps we should have made him commit to, “Give something positive back. Let me know when this happens.)
5) Drill for oil offshore
5.6 billion barrels of oil might be available off California—along with 10 trillion cubic feet of natural gas(3). If even half of this oil and natural gas was refined and put into the market California would make 168 billion in oil alone and another ridiculous number in the trillions in natural gas sales (of course you’ll have to refine it into California Clean Burning Gasoline but you’re still in the black). With a Crude Oil Refinery Capacity (as of Jan. 1, 2009) of 2,042,188 barrels/calendar day(4) it will only take 2 years to refine. You’re done for life! I know it’s ‘devil juice’ but you can take the extra revenue that you generate and use it to create technology that provides a true renewable source of energy and then get to work on saving all the beautiful little creatures too! Also California can lead us away from foreign oil dependence and de-escalate the tension in the Middle East. Hopefully, though Gov. Schwarzenegger’s plan to make $1.2 billion by imposing a 9.9 percent per barrel tax on oil extracted from California(5) won’t scare any potential buyers away.
Wake up California voters! It’s time to run over these politicians that have led you nowhere except into bankruptcy. Only you can make a difference. If the Federal government bails out CA you will be federally backed which means the removal of the states’ rights and sovereignty. This is nothing nice just ask GM!
So let’s exit with an American Express genre format.
Stop paying for illegal aliens- 10.5 Billion per year
Limit spending- 10 Billion per year
Cut out the bleeding heart activism ploys- 1 Billion per year?
Drill for oil offshore- 84 billion per year
Fire Schwarzenegger! - Priceless
Not dragging the rest of the Union down with you- Also Priceless
So what do you think? What ideas do you have to help Cali? Should CA drill for offshore oil? Should Ahnold be fired? Am I right?
Another attack launched by: Colonel Kilgore
1) http://www.dumblaws.com/laws/united-states/california
2) http://www.cato.org/pub_display.php?pub_id=8878
3) http://www.kcrw.com/news/programs/ww/ww080623is_it_time_for_more_
4) http://tonto.eia.doe.gov/state/state_energy_profiles.cfm?sid=CA
5) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2008%E2%80%932009_California_budget_crisis
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